Self-control is an essential tool for anger management. It helps in navigating our way through the many troubles of life and reaching our goal of Jannah. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak goodness or remain silent

It is crucial for us to practise self-control because by doing so we refrain from any of the temptations that Satan tries so hard to lure us towards. 

Self-control takes a deep understanding and practice.  Not practising self control could have serious ramifications for all types of relationships, marriage and work. A common  situation faced by newly married couples is adjusting to a new life of a couple after being single. Instead of working as a team, couples often take out their frustrations on each other. They will say and do things in anger and based on emotion, that they do not mean and late regret.  The husband divorces his wife out of anger. The wife leaves the house and asks for divorce out of emotions. Upon reflection, by practising self-control, the marriage could have lasted and blossomed into a happy marriage. 

Another example you get a new job that you enjoy. The manager is under stress and as a result he is demanding and putting a lot of pressure on you. You think it is because you are new. So you have an argument and decide to walk out of the job. Could you have practised self-control and stuck it out for longer? Self-control helps us combat anger, stress and anxiety. There are things we can do to strengthen our self-control. The Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said:

If one of you is angry while he is standing, let him sit down so his anger will leave him; otherwise, let him lie down

Consider your emotions when you get stressed and become angry. What happens to your focus? It starts to fade away due to the negative emotions going through your mind, leading you to make decisions you otherwise would not have done. In order to regain focus, it can help to practise thinking about the bigger picture. Think about what’s going to happen after the situation that’s got you emotionally charged. Put things in context and ask yourself, is it really worth getting stressed or angry over? How is getting angry going to help you? Remember that whatever it is, will pass, and maintaining your focus will help you in the long run. The Prophet defined the true Muslim as one who avoids harming others with his words and actions.

The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe

Think about situations somebody hurt you by the things they said.  Think about the times you have upset others by saying something you later regretted.   Not doing something can sometimes be much harder than doing something. It is also more fulfilling. So, the next time you are faced with a situation where you feel your temper rising, or your stress levels increasing, take a deep breath, stay focused, take control of your emotions and put your trust in Allah. 

Verily, with every difficulty there is relief (Quran: 94:5-6)